When you have a blog you can see what searches people Googled to land on your page. A lot of them are about what you would expect. Sometimes it is surprising. A post I wrote awhile back that talked about cave paintings has been the most searched for thing on my blog for a while. The internet is hungry for essays on Cave Paintings, who knew?

But my favorite stuff are the searches that just make me bewildered, either because I’m surprised people are into it, or I don’t remember ever writing about it. Here are some of my favorite random searches that people used to land on this blog.

“what you do if you had to pretend to sell a book you didn’t like”

“philosopher skull on desk”

“anthony alvarado murdered” (!)

“david bowie foucault” (!)

“it is time to take a nap”

“naked people cave art”

“force feeding medicine to rats”

“we dont need shampoo?”

“the function of the artist is not to translate an observation but to express the shock of the object on his nature; the shock, with the original reaction.”

“bourbon alvarado”

“end of the world shopping spree”

“alternate reality poets”

“hypnotism for squeamishness”

“secret portland”

“what do i do as a creative person surrounded by practical people”

“elvish rap and forts”

“the more we are grateful, the more happiness we get”

“can ears be magic”

“i feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people”

“coffee makes you poop”

“artists with hard to spell names”

“is it cool to be cool”

“you getting sleepy ,very sleepy”